First suicide case, he hanged himself in a forested area. I was one of the 3 who had to carry the body and lie it down. They say that these people usually missed their last breath. Rope was cut, the last breath of air was released. Quite an experience.
Alright, that's it.
Strike out engineering,
check business
We have no reason to be overly stressed
this period of time is a privilege for me,
for all men out there to be away from stress.
we should make use of this period to
complete our tasks smoothly and try not
to create trouble and leave the force with
no unnecesary strings attached behind.
From then on, when we continue our life,
continue our journey to fulfilling our dreams,
our goals, all the stress will come down rushing
towards you. This is when you implement all the
things you have learnt during your service,
and battle these stresses with full power and ease.
this period of time is a privilege for me,
for all men out there to be away from stress.
we should make use of this period to
complete our tasks smoothly and try not
to create trouble and leave the force with
no unnecesary strings attached behind.
From then on, when we continue our life,
continue our journey to fulfilling our dreams,
our goals, all the stress will come down rushing
towards you. This is when you implement all the
things you have learnt during your service,
and battle these stresses with full power and ease.
If this is going to continue for the next 12 months
i'd be completely drained away by then.
i'd be completely drained away by then.
Someday she will find someone who will always be there for her, who will always be there to lend his shoulders to. And then, i'll be off feeling regretful and be asking myself questions like 'should i have told her?', 'would she accept it?'. I don't know if it's just me, but i personally think that she's branded me as a friend/best friend. I don't know if it's true. I'm fine with it, but it's going to be freaking hard for me. It has already happened to me before. I get to know a girl and for the first time in school, i was buying my food and she came all the way from where she was just to say hi to me and gave a wide sweet smile. And we started talking to each other. I like her. I began giving her the utmost care and concern that i could ever give, i was always there for her. When she's down, i'll put everything aside and just be with her until she's up again. Then one day, she said she needed my help. She like this guy, but sadly, it wasn't me.
Even though, my spirits have plunged to the ground, i had no choice but to help her and eventually she got him. She felt so grateful but what about me? I know it's my fault too, too afraid to ask her. And now, it's going to happen to me again. And yeah, i care for her, a lot. But i've already been branded. It's so sad. And there's no way i'm going to get up that list of hers. All these care-and-concern thing has been on and off against me. We're so near, but we're going to go far away from each other when it's done.
=(
i observed that i'm always there for her, always by her side. It's like, i've been in her all these while. We have such a strong connection and i could see that she'll be very happy whenever i apply pressure somewhere at her bottom. At times, it'd make me happy when i do that. But at times also, it would also make me unhappy. The more i spend time with her, the stronger our relationship get. I wish that i could be inside her forever, as the adrenaline rush has always been high. But, i just gotta slow down
..so what the hell am i talking about here?.
..so what the hell am i talking about here?.
Life hasn't been able to give me a break. I desperately want one. People making me frustrated, giving me false assurances, by assuring me that they'll do something though i know in the end, they won't. I hate these kind of people. It's like they're trying to leave me alone here on this stupid island while they go take a boat that brings them away from here, the only hope of escape. I mean, why do i always have to blog about this particular feeling of mine? Why can't i blog about my happy days, moments? It' s not like i purposely want to blog about these emotional, 'sensitive' crap. It's because people keep doing this to me, and they are those that only show their care and concern for a one group of people but not the other groups. For once, can i be happy and blog about those happy days of mine? I want it so much, to just keep smiling. I think i have to start turning to God because there's no one else i can turn to now. And i hope he'll answer me, not like some others who don't even have time though they do.
Happy new year, just decided to undelete for the sake of saving this account. Too lazy and tired to post anything more than this. Outta here.
It's been a very long time since i last wrote a post here. A lot of things have been happening actually, but i just can't find the time to reduce them in writing. I'm tired of being in camp. It's just torturing but somehow it's not physical. Everyone wants to go out as soon as possible, thinking that the outside world would be an improvement. Thing is, we don't even know what's out there. Once we've been there, we'll know how it really feels and then we can make a comparison.
Intensive chest workout is a killer! I learnt this particular series of chest workouts and well, it has left me with muscle fatigue at the chest section of my body including the shoulder within 1 hour of workout. I could barely lift up my bottle and not even 5 push-ups. How cool can that be? It really feels great though i'm suffering. Haha.
Dear god, i really want oscar charlie tango. What should i do? There are a lot of distractions that come and go into my mind that might change the way i look at my mates. I don't know which one SHOULD weigh more, comrades or personal desire? I've really done a lot of thinking..
I just got news from a friend, who is also in the race that i'm in, and i'm really feeling uneasy about it.
Usually, people want, very badly, to fall in love. Falling in love is like what every man on this planet firstly wants on their wishlist. It is exactly what i'm going through right now. But in my case, i want very badly not to fall in love. I mean, i'm already in love. But it's just wrong, you see. Everything is wrong.
- Mood:
stressed
I have a chance to redeem myself and i did not. What a bastard. Everything was going well until the exams. Why must i think so much and interpret the questions myself when you were already told not to ask yourself too many questions? In the end, i got myself confused and everything is messed up. If i do not get myself qualified for this shit, i would be a total failure. And i really deserve to be called that.
I'm feeling more than desperate now. Why must they send the rejection letters to me at a later date when i have insufficient time to think of what to write for my appeal? I have to get into a university, it's an objective that has to be checked at the end of the day. I know i have 2 years to apply even if my application this year is unsuccessful but i just want a place to be reserved for me. I'm pleading to god and i sincerely hope they would review my application once again and thus give me a chance to further my learning in one of the universities. I don't wish to stop learning now. Please don't make it too difficult for me already. I really hope my appeal is enough to change their minds.
I'm sick and tired of coughing. Research showed that cough actually helps in releasing all the harmful toxic in your lungs but still, I hate this bloody cough, it's just not me to cough like how i've been so. I mean, there's literally no blood. But it's just a hindrance for many things that i do. I can't sing, i can't even speak properly. This can be annoying especially if i'm chilling out with my friends or watching movie. Though they may not find annoying because they're too engrossed with whatever they're doing, i'm bloody annoyed that i can't be engrossed too. It's been 2 weeks plus already. I really hope this cough would stop by the end of next week. I want to be able to sing while strumming my guitar, i want to be able to talk to jingyi non-stop without excusing myself to cough. I bet she finds it annoying as well. Well, i'll be mummy's boy for now. I'll consume cough syrup as prescribed.
This will be the last post for i will be booking in tomorrow morning. And by the end of next week, the rest of 07S29 will be in camp already. I hate to admit it but the best class i've ever had was and will always be 07S29. There's just a special bond that we share. Some may say that classes in JC tend to be very bonded because of the small class size but that is definitely not the case for us S29's. We went through all ups and downs together and i mean, TOGETHER. We move forward like a pack of soldiers who would never leave anyone behind even if they have broken a leg. There are just a lot of things that we do together and our team/class spirit was also been known back in school by teachers and also interclass and interhouse competitions. Before our A levels, we vowed to be the best improved class. Though we weren't really been congratulated by the principal, we all know in our hearts, we did our very best and that we know that we have improved by miles compared to last time. So thumbs up to 07S29 for you deserve this. And not to forget our unforgettable CM, Wang Weicheng who led us along the way with his funny and lame jokes. Thanks everyone for being part of the best class in the world, S29. Till then, we'll meet again.
And to the other friends of mine, i'll miss you guys too but..what's with this shit, man. I shouldn't be saying all these mushy stuff. Just take care, alright? See you, next time.
Here's how i spent my april fool's day. To tell you the truth, nothing foolish happened. Haha. I went cycling to west coast park during the twilight of the day. It was a torturous journey and i hurt my right knee joint but that didn't matter a bit. I reached home at 7 and washed myself and slept at 8. I woke up 4 hours later because i didn't want to get so tired when i wake up later than that. That would ruin my whole day. I went swimming at CSC with haaziq in the evening and again, we cycled there. This time, it wasn't so torturous because i used my very own bike. Haha. At the swimming pool, we saw quite a hot chick. Hehe. I suppose she's younger than us by a year or 2. But who cares. She was wearing bikini, can you believe that? I can't, either. Haha. She has an almost perfect figure. And i think she was trailing her eyes on me leh. Haha. So was i. Haha.
I went to SMU yesterday to submit an application and good thing jingyi came along. I could have taken the train all the way to dhoby ghaut and to the arts and social science building instead. We were from woodlands and thus she suggested that we take 960. Good grieve, it was a hell of a long ride but worthy though. The office of admission/administration was only a minute away from the bus stop outside bras basah. Then we decided to walk around this new shopping centre just opposite bugis junction. Since we met a new theatre in town, why not try it? So we watched 12 Rounds. I can say that i pleasantly disagree with the movie reviews that were published in the papers about this movie. Many gave it low ratings. I think it's a 3/5. Great action, superb plots, really. It's not some other criminal/hostage movie. It was well scripted and written. I, specially, admire the bad guy in the movie. He was Miles/Myles in the movie. His way of speech was just WOW. He's very smart and had a criminal mind like no other. Funny thing is, jingyi always missed the best parts. What i meant was, she would cover her face when the suspense parts came. Haha. But, it was very funn. =)
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chasethestars
chasethestars