It's been a very long time since i last wrote a post here. A lot of things have been happening actually, but i just can't find the time to reduce them in writing. I'm tired of being in camp. It's just torturing but somehow it's not physical. Everyone wants to go out as soon as possible, thinking that the outside world would be an improvement. Thing is, we don't even know what's out there. Once we've been there, we'll know how it really feels and then we can make a comparison.
Intensive chest workout is a killer! I learnt this particular series of chest workouts and well, it has left me with muscle fatigue at the chest section of my body including the shoulder within 1 hour of workout. I could barely lift up my bottle and not even 5 push-ups. How cool can that be? It really feels great though i'm suffering. Haha.
Dear god, i really want oscar charlie tango. What should i do? There are a lot of distractions that come and go into my mind that might change the way i look at my mates. I don't know which one SHOULD weigh more, comrades or personal desire? I've really done a lot of thinking..
I just got news from a friend, who is also in the race that i'm in, and i'm really feeling uneasy about it.
Usually, people want, very badly, to fall in love. Falling in love is like what every man on this planet firstly wants on their wishlist. It is exactly what i'm going through right now. But in my case, i want very badly not to fall in love. I mean, i'm already in love. But it's just wrong, you see. Everything is wrong.
- Mood:
stressed
I have a chance to redeem myself and i did not. What a bastard. Everything was going well until the exams. Why must i think so much and interpret the questions myself when you were already told not to ask yourself too many questions? In the end, i got myself confused and everything is messed up. If i do not get myself qualified for this shit, i would be a total failure. And i really deserve to be called that.
I'm feeling more than desperate now. Why must they send the rejection letters to me at a later date when i have insufficient time to think of what to write for my appeal? I have to get into a university, it's an objective that has to be checked at the end of the day. I know i have 2 years to apply even if my application this year is unsuccessful but i just want a place to be reserved for me. I'm pleading to god and i sincerely hope they would review my application once again and thus give me a chance to further my learning in one of the universities. I don't wish to stop learning now. Please don't make it too difficult for me already. I really hope my appeal is enough to change their minds.
I'm sick and tired of coughing. Research showed that cough actually helps in releasing all the harmful toxic in your lungs but still, I hate this bloody cough, it's just not me to cough like how i've been so. I mean, there's literally no blood. But it's just a hindrance for many things that i do. I can't sing, i can't even speak properly. This can be annoying especially if i'm chilling out with my friends or watching movie. Though they may not find annoying because they're too engrossed with whatever they're doing, i'm bloody annoyed that i can't be engrossed too. It's been 2 weeks plus already. I really hope this cough would stop by the end of next week. I want to be able to sing while strumming my guitar, i want to be able to talk to jingyi non-stop without excusing myself to cough. I bet she finds it annoying as well. Well, i'll be mummy's boy for now. I'll consume cough syrup as prescribed.
This will be the last post for i will be booking in tomorrow morning. And by the end of next week, the rest of 07S29 will be in camp already. I hate to admit it but the best class i've ever had was and will always be 07S29. There's just a special bond that we share. Some may say that classes in JC tend to be very bonded because of the small class size but that is definitely not the case for us S29's. We went through all ups and downs together and i mean, TOGETHER. We move forward like a pack of soldiers who would never leave anyone behind even if they have broken a leg. There are just a lot of things that we do together and our team/class spirit was also been known back in school by teachers and also interclass and interhouse competitions. Before our A levels, we vowed to be the best improved class. Though we weren't really been congratulated by the principal, we all know in our hearts, we did our very best and that we know that we have improved by miles compared to last time. So thumbs up to 07S29 for you deserve this. And not to forget our unforgettable CM, Wang Weicheng who led us along the way with his funny and lame jokes. Thanks everyone for being part of the best class in the world, S29. Till then, we'll meet again.
And to the other friends of mine, i'll miss you guys too but..what's with this shit, man. I shouldn't be saying all these mushy stuff. Just take care, alright? See you, next time.
Here's how i spent my april fool's day. To tell you the truth, nothing foolish happened. Haha. I went cycling to west coast park during the twilight of the day. It was a torturous journey and i hurt my right knee joint but that didn't matter a bit. I reached home at 7 and washed myself and slept at 8. I woke up 4 hours later because i didn't want to get so tired when i wake up later than that. That would ruin my whole day. I went swimming at CSC with haaziq in the evening and again, we cycled there. This time, it wasn't so torturous because i used my very own bike. Haha. At the swimming pool, we saw quite a hot chick. Hehe. I suppose she's younger than us by a year or 2. But who cares. She was wearing bikini, can you believe that? I can't, either. Haha. She has an almost perfect figure. And i think she was trailing her eyes on me leh. Haha. So was i. Haha.
I went to SMU yesterday to submit an application and good thing jingyi came along. I could have taken the train all the way to dhoby ghaut and to the arts and social science building instead. We were from woodlands and thus she suggested that we take 960. Good grieve, it was a hell of a long ride but worthy though. The office of admission/administration was only a minute away from the bus stop outside bras basah. Then we decided to walk around this new shopping centre just opposite bugis junction. Since we met a new theatre in town, why not try it? So we watched 12 Rounds. I can say that i pleasantly disagree with the movie reviews that were published in the papers about this movie. Many gave it low ratings. I think it's a 3/5. Great action, superb plots, really. It's not some other criminal/hostage movie. It was well scripted and written. I, specially, admire the bad guy in the movie. He was Miles/Myles in the movie. His way of speech was just WOW. He's very smart and had a criminal mind like no other. Funny thing is, jingyi always missed the best parts. What i meant was, she would cover her face when the suspense parts came. Haha. But, it was very funn. =)
After my bpt, i'm going to resume my driving lessons and at a fleeting rate. My friends are already in the mids and i've stopped after passing my btt. I'm just lazy la. Argh! I don't care. I'll have a consistent income during NS and i will jolly well make sure i get my driving test before november.
I'm such an ass. It keeps haunting and daunting me of what my life 10 years later would be. Yeah, it's about my results. Fuck!! How i wish i could see a grade A in my certificate but too bad, i can't. Everyone knows 'A' is always soothing to the eyes, not only to you but to the person who will employ you in the future. C is such a fucking alphabet, let alone 3 C's. Oh god, what should i do with these discouraging grades of mine? Where, in the whole universe, can i go with them? I'm such a pessimistic fucker. I tried to be the otherwise, even for a mere second but it didn't work. I'm being mentally assaulted by the very things that are happening around me. Disaster, discrimination, hypocritical bullshits that are going on between government and its people.
She's really appropriate to take up the role of Alice Cullen as described in the Twilight book series.
Ashley Greene.
"There is a very slim chance of it being successful. Go buy a new phone," she said.
I mean, how easy could she say that in front of me? Fuck, man.Throughout the conversation, she had been spamming me with words and phrases of discouragement which included 'we'll TRY but no guarantee'. I understand that because she even showed me the interior of the phone and it was all corroded. The feeling is like that of a relative of yours who is undergoing a surgery which has 5% of surviving. I know that i have to buy a new phone. But it's hard for me. That phone was bought by my friend, the first friend i made in sec 1, my best friend. And now, i just have to put it aside to let dust accumulate on it or rather dump it? It will disappoint him, i'm sure.
Now back to how my phone got corroded. It all happened when i was swimming with friends. It was all my fault for being a daredevil which has proven nothing . Fuck the ziplock bag, it didn't work despite the convincing statement by my friend. Furthermore, i received no words of apologies from them. So i assume that they think it should be my fault uh, and thus no apologies are necessary. Lesson learnt: no phone that i would possibly buy are waterproof or resistant by any means.
7th April, is the day when i enter the gateway. The gateway to discovering a new life. A new life that has been waiting for me for 18 years. It'll take time to walk through what's beyond the gateway and whether i leave on the other side a changed or unchanged man, depends on my determination and persistence.
Yup, that's right. My phone is faulty. Ya, the slim sony ericsson W890i. And the main reason is chlorine water seeps through and damaged the compartment. All i have to do is to send it for service at wisma atria. Damn.
I'm just fucking pissed off. I don't want to be doing this anymore. I just want to go somewhere and spend time with me, myself and I. I want to be away from everyone else that i know. I want to go to a place where i'm more of an outsider and forge new bonds with them and forget about the people from my past.
*I wish i could pace up time so that i would be enlisted sooner, it's better for me.
I don't know how to tell you this but you're just someone that i must have in my life. Not as a special friend in a typical way but a special friend, a best friend that always make my day. You might interpret it the other way and i'm afraid that this will change how we normally feel about each other. I've not been smiling willingly for a long time and whenever we're together, i don't even have to exert a pound of energy to smile. I guess it's best for you not to know about this.
Syndicate
Designed by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
chasethestars
chasethestars